Downsizing my kitchen as re-framing value
Having a hard time imagining getting rid of so much stuff? Imagining may be the hardest part. I often chant this quote to myself when I am tackling something that feels overwhelming:
“Doubt will take you out of action and action will take you out of doubt” -Unknown
Thank you to Lisa M. Flynn who shared this quote with me on a magnet years ago.
I have in the past valued myself in terms of my abilities. A foundational one has been my kitchen skills. It started with the experimentation in my (indulging) parents' kitchen and has evolved through my sense of food-as-love and ultimately a focus on health in middle-age. What I have been telling myself all these years was that my capability, and thereby worth, was partially derived from the fondue pot, the ice cream maker and the springform pan - three things that are in the donation box headed out of my kitchen.
As I give these things away it inspires some reflection on the tinge of insecurity I feel. What if I want to please someone with homemade fondue or ice cream in the future? What if that party I am hosting would be better with the dessert layers showing? How can I be satisfied with a little less than "from scratch" when I have the ability to do it all myself?
I have been reading Alchemy: The Dark Art and Curious Science of Creating Magic in Brands, Business, and Life by Rory Sutherland. This book explores psychological concepts around human decision making and consumption (buying things) and the ties to our status signalling both to others and ourselves. One of the conclusions I have reached after hearing these ideas is that status signaling is not good or bad. It is just human and how we operate in our social context. (It may be better to compete with cars in the driveway than with axes and swords.)
Therefore, owning and using all the kitchen gadgets or sharing homemade food skills in an effort to appear "capable" doesn't deserve any judgement. However, there are trade offs to be made when we cannot have, be and do it all. As I was sorting through my kitchen this weekend in preparation for living tiny full time, I was realizing that I do not want kitchen skills to be the dominant thread of my story. The thread that keeps me from following a deeper conviction around going tiny to create financial and time autonomy.
The narrative we want to tell the world and ourselves is under our control.
I want to tell the story of a woman who gave away the need to be fully kitchen capable in order to be simplified, debt free and to impact others on the same path. This, to me, is greater than home made cheesecake any day.
