Long-term financial security doesn’t have to be so fiercely independent.
Once upon a time humans did not wake up every morning to work a job for a corporation. They also did not stress about their progress toward saving enough of their income to cover costs when the job ended and retirement began. They were not alone in a single-handed attempt to secure long term security for themselves by having enough savings to pay for all their future needs. Their home, food, care wasn't solely dependent upon their individual ability to save.
Notably they didn't live as long after they stopped working. Lifespans were shorter. Working for most was more directly tied to providing for the family, and labor was physical. But for many of those who did reach a point where their labor ebbed it was because they passed the torch to the next generations of their family. Their role transformed to family elder, and they let others continue the work toward family sufficiency or wealth. They were cared for within the network they had nurtured.
In 2023 the entire financial planning ecosystem is focused on helping every individual or couple build their own independent financial security. The optimized nest egg is designed to last through a person’s statistical or expected longevity without any sharing of resources with friends of family. Financial products are designed to provide lifetime income guarantees, and a large segment of the investment universe is centered around building individual wealth sufficient to cover the entirety of a person's future liabilities.
However, the net worth accumulation associated with financial security never takes into account the supreme worth of the relationships that add significant tangible value to this calculation, both from a sharing of resources and sharing of burdens perspective. I would argue that the laser-focus on single-handed financial security creation through a portfolio even attempts to minimize what value there could be in family and friendships throughout life. "I don't want to be a burden on anyone" eliminates the opportunity for mutual benefit and the deep fulfillment that may come from helping and being helped over a lifetime. Our modern rigid focus on individual self-sufficiency eliminates the natural cooperation that built societies throughout our history.
From my experience in the financial planning profession, people seem to be focused on taking care of themselves first. Then if relationships show up to help the money takes a back seat. But wouldn't intentional connection and cooperation enrich the entire length of our lives and reduce our sense of fragility if we prioritized them from the start? It sounds like a pretty radical perspective, but mutual support is in our human DNA.
So how can we in our modern milieu balance the need to build wealth with the need to build supportive relationships, so that our future is not solely dependent on buying all that we may ever need? How can we quantify support from and depend on others in order to not feel that our future is so vulnerable to the performance of our nest egg? And how can we, likewise, be a resource for others trusting that care will be reciprocated when we need it? The answer is in our history and our capacity for connection. If we want to feel less alone in our work toward future security we must reach out a hand toward others.
